This sounds like a pre covid magazine article.
It isn’t of course.
It has actually been really hard work, with massive fails resulting in injury for me and like a miserable snakes and ladders board.
Luckily I ended up back with Paula Baldwin who is a lovely safety net featuring on The Slimming calender for however long Pinterest exists for in the ephemeral world of social media.
Exercise isn’t ephemeral or just for teenagers as Zsa Zsa Gabor proves if you try her routine.
It’s simple darling is the answer to eternal youth and keeping slim.
Once you start walking outside one day a week it all comes back.
This evolved into March in March.
To be honest I’m not a fitness expert, but I come from a fit and healthy family; we lived on a hill and walked up and down it to the bus, school etc. We had a car but my mum didn’t drive. Looking back I’m glad now. Cars make people lazy I suppose. We wouldn’t of walked up a hill if we had a car.
Loosing weight is easy, just walk up a hill.
pinterest.co.uk/saphireblack/slimming-calendar/march
For Diana Dors Weekend I looked back at a dress shop called Pretty kitty.
The first time I looked at this shop was 2022, think this was the beginning of covid.
When did COVID-19 start in the UK?
The first case of COVID-19 documented in the UK was on 31 January 2020 and the UK has since experienced several major waves of infection. 2. In April 2020 the Industrial Injuries Advisory Council (IIAC) began to collect, collate, and review the evidence linking occupation to the risk of COVID-19 during 2020.
Actually it was 2020.
My diary record isn’t very good as I was in a mess.
I was really hard to reach at that point, luckily people where patient with me and jogged me along and stayed with me till I responded.
I’ve never been like that.
I put weight on twice before, but got it off quick by walking up hills.
The first time was from cocaine.
Someone gave it me without me knowing. I’m not perfect as I knew it was a drug, but thought is was amphetimine which makes you thin. Realise I was in a fairly dangerous situation, but luckily, bizarely enough it was a drug dealer in a city gang who helped me. My sister left me with him thinking I was enjoying myself? It was the first time I’d taken ecstasy ~ thanks sis.
This was when I first discovered my family are ill.
I was one of the people he helped to balance out selling drugs to rich kids and ruining their lives.
I then got into banging house bangra and danced it off drinking water instead of alcohol.
The second time was when my mum said I needed prozac, when it was actually her that needed it.
Prozac is mixed with an anorexia drug which means you gain weight on it.
A doctor put me on a diet after that and I started doing yoga, then joined a gym when the yoga class moved to a gym.
This was when I discovered slimming for vanity pounds.
Once you get the weight down you go on to target toning.
When I was asked to gain weight, I wasn’t worried as I knew I could get it off easily.
Not if you wait a long time after gaining it.
If you wait a long time it is really hard as your muscles get week and even basic moving is hard.
Then I got in a bad mood and was happier in my rut.
Luckily there are fitness trainers out there who specialise in this area and reach out through the darkness.
In 2022 I would of had to buy a dress that wasn’t me due to weight gain.
When I looked at Pretty Kitty again, I realised I have changed a lot since then.
I felt really sorry for the woman I was back then. It wasn’t just the weight gain. I actually love my family and want to be in a family. Finally realising they don’t just hate me they want to phisically hurt me wasn’t a pleasant experience.
What various councillors and doctors told me is I had to get away from them forever.
Making this step pre covid was really hard as no one knew what this phenomena was.
I felt like a freak, like I had the problem and like my life was empty and over.
Now in 2024 I discover they are what are known as narcissists.
This might be what is helping me also, thinking about it.
Anyway Pretty Kitty has helped loads.
When I look again now I can get into a dress that is more me.
As I feel sorry for the old me I felt inspired to write these notes. I want to keep this for future reference if I ever need this valuable information again.
As I’m part of the women helping other women scheme, I decided to write this up to show them how easy it is to get the figure they want or get down a few dress sizes.
If you want to lose weight in this horrific post covid world and are being told the only way to do it is dance like a 12 year old ballerina who has been dancing since she was two. Or take up extreme ballroom dancing. This is to be honest both frightening and a lie.
Don’t make my mistakes.
I’ve learnt this knowledge the hard way by gruelling trial and error.
To be honest, you don’t even need to spend any money.
March in March has worked.
It is now September so it has taken me 6 months to up my fitness levels and get back down to a pre covid dress size.
Don’t be angry with yourself ~ be angry with covid 19 and the fat revolt which has somehow blocked fitness for women like me?
If you have just found this jump on with the September walking challenge as this is the first steps to weight loss.
pinterest.co.uk/saphireblack/slimming-calendar/september/
When you are ready introduce Zsa Zsa Gabor it’s simple darling. Try it without weights first to see how easy it is and how you ‘can do it’, whatever age or fitness level you are.
Bring yourself to look at the dress shop Pretty Kitty.
Be honest with yourself, take your measurements with a tape measure, if you haven’t one supermarkets usually sell travel sewing kits that have one in. Look at the dress size you are at the minute. Then look at the dress size you want to be. Don’t order the dress size you are now.
Don’t get angry with your dress size, just leave it there.
Start walking and follow the instruction on The Slimming calender.
These are trained fitness experts who know what they are doing and specifically specialise in tutoring exercising at home.
Each month you will add a bit more, train new muscle groups that might be stiff, so will create a bit of a boost, but also tire you a little.
Then in six months look back at Pretty Kitty.
Coincidently that is March.
Just think how you will be marching then.
Both slimmer and fitter and the dress size you want to be.
I put together my own wokouts and share them on social media. I’m not a fitness expert, they are just old videos on you tube for free.
If social media changes I’ll still do these as I have the dvds and they work.
You might not be your ideal dress size for christmas, but you should of got results by then as it is the halfway mark. Also this way you will keep it off and get through christmas and keep going.
If you have a lot of weight to loose you will drop a lot by christmas as it works like that, fast at first, so be aware that it then slows down so you haven’t to get frustrated at this point, remember your dress you are aiming for.
This one goes up to size 18.
Have a browse and a think of what your goal is.
Actually it goes up to size 20 so you could buy a dress for christmas whatever size you are ~ either get a smaller size as your christmas goal or wait and see what happens and order your new dress nearer the time.
Maybe buy two the size you are now and your goal dress.
I did that at urban outfitters.
If you want to join The slimming calender feel free.
If you get into it you could even make a career or money out of it like Jessica Smith did and shares with us, if you have been doing the morning challenge and listening to her motivational talks.
Still trying to get the nerd to write this blog on how to make money blogging.
He is the partner I should of married but my family wrecked the wedding of course.
He told me to refer to him as the nerd not to confuse people.
I’ll never be perfect as I’m apple shape, so don’t let me put you off.
I’m also body dismorphic, so not really sure how I’ve ended up doing this.
I’ve got a long way to go still as I have some stubborn weight to loose still and a lot of toning still to do.
So I’ll be on pinterest and social media doing this, till things go back to normal.
Conclusion
If you feel lost in the rubbish world left over by Covid 19. Have gained weight and maybe even have problems moving, only see teenagers offering unsociable undoable weight loss answers, forget this and loose weight in 6 months instead.
All you are wanting is to feel great, get your confidence back, stand tall and wear the dress that is you.
You want a life, some parties a few drinks, some dinners in a restaurant and simple exercise that you can fit easily into your life.
Look no further.
Join the Slimming calender now for free.
It leads to allsorts of things.
You ‘can’ stay young and slim forever, so ignore negative people and get up 1 hour before breakfast tomorrow, switch on the slimming calender, get walking and never look back!!!
SAPHIRE LIFESTYLE BLOG 